Random House, 240 pages
Courtesy of Random Buzzers
"For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?"
This book should be retitled Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Book Ever. I understand that the point of the book was to be humorous and entertaining, but I don't think it was any of those. When the book was supposed to be funny, I found myself cringing for the main character, and I didn't find it entertaining. If I could have the time back that I wasted on this book, I would take it in a heartbeat.
This book was clearly supposed to target younger readers of the genre. Even so, I think one would be hard pressed to find one of these younger readers that actually really enjoyed the novel. Everything just seemed ridiculous and randomly thrown together. I found myself counting down the page numbers until the end of the book instead of actually appreciating the plot. As such, it's very difficult to pay attention to what's going on because you get bored.
Everything simply fell flat. I blame this on the length of the book (only 240 pages) because there wasn't enough time for character development. To be honest, I really don't have much more to say about this book. If you want an entirely mindless read where you are cringing in embarrassment for the main character, go right ahead. Otherwise, skip this one and find something better to occupy yourself with.
Rating: 2 stars - I didn't like it. Barely worth borrowing.